Can't Help but Wonder...

Five years is a long time. I know I've changed in the past 5 years. I also know I couldn't have imagined my life as it is now 5 years ago.

For the past 5 years, I've been trekking on mostly backroads of America trying my best to do the HEAR US mission, "give voice and visibility to homeless children and youth." That may sound obscure to the unknowing, but for me it means a quest to figure out how to prick America's conscience about the rapidly increasing numbers of homeless kids on our streets.

Lest you think it's about numbers, think again. One deliberate tool I have is a picture each of the kids I interviewed in my first year traveling. I spoke with 75 kids from little towns, rural areas, resort communities and ordinary cities. The one thing these kids had in common was they experienced homelessness. Some were still homeless.

I filmed these interviews, compiling them on a DVD called "My Own Four Walls," I've shown this film hundreds of times to thousands of people since then. We've sold thousands of copies. The one thing I know for sure, no matter who is in the audience, they can't help but be blown away by what these kids say.

I didn't spend much time with each kid. I haven't kept in contact with all of them. But they continue to travel with me--ensconced on a "class picture" type poster on Tillie's back window, with a (hopefully) shocking message that over 1.5 million kids are homeless. We're finding that this guesstimate is probably way low, since schools have identified almost a million homeless children and youth (2008-09 data).

Seeing pix of these kids, listening to their wisdom in MOFW, hearing from some of them on my HEAR US Facebook page, or keeping in touch by occasional phone calls and emails, I continue to wonder how they are doing. Are things improving? Did they fall deeper into the ever-expanding abyss of homelessness? Do people in power care about them? Are people around them doing all they can to improve these courageous kids' opportunities for success?

Here's a simple act you can do to help make sure homeless kids get an education:

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

This fascinating site shows celebrities who experienced homelessness. Besides their own bootstraps, they likely had people that helped them along the way. I wonder where they would have been without that? I wonder how much they are willing to lend a hand now?

Seems to me that we pay far too much attention to today's celebrities and far too little attention to those who matter most--the hope of our future. The stars of My Own Four Walls, wherever they are, are my inspiration to continue my quest.

Picture credit: Julianna Martinez

I Don't Count

My nomadic way of life for the past 5 years has been quite worthwhile and interesting. But one casualty--me. I will likely not be counted in the 2010 Census. 

Since selling my home so I could buy "Tillie," this venerable, now road-weary motor home, I've relied on a series of old and new friends for a place to park. My home is literally this 27' Gulfstream Class C recreational vehicle. But my use is far from recreational.

Tillie is headquarters for my nonprofit organization, HEAR US Inc., a unique and highly mobile effort to give voice and visibility to homeless children, youth and families, especially those off the beaten track. I've found I don't need much--a computer, a data card, and a cell phone; video and still cameras to do my work. Paper--I try to do without. My board provides essential support services, faxing mail to me as needed, handling bank transactions, and keeping our efforts in front of the folks back home, or what used to be my home territory for over 40 years, the western suburbs outside Chicago.

Among the casualties of this roving is a sense of stability. I awake early morning struggling to answer the question, "Where am I?" Of course, sometimes I get to park in some pretty cool places (like this picture, from a PA state park). But more often I'm in a driveway, tethered to a friend's house by a heavy-duty extension cord. I will happily stay at shelters if feasible, feeling the psychic connection and often getting grateful hugs as a bonus. Or I "boondock" (RVer lingo for parking without any connections) in a WalMart parking lot.

My mode of travel has several perks: preparations are quite simple--make sure Tillie is in shape. My stuff is in my "house," so I don't have to pack! My food can be my choice instead of depending on road kill, er, fare. And I have that bathroom handy--clean if I cleaned it!--for those times when ya gotta go! 

Five years ago I was shaping this crazy plan. Five years, 48 states and 92,000 miles later, thanks to some incredible support, I'm still rolling. Homelessness, among families, teens and single adults, has skyrocketed. The economy has tanked. Gas prices have soared. Economic devastation, while some signs of recovery are being touted, continues to destroy the most vulnerable. 

I'm heading off next week for a fairly short trip--Macon, MS, Sheridan, AR, and Baton Rouge, LA. Not areas that make the must-see lists of travelers. But I consider each stop an opportunity to share the voices and faces of those who courageously shared their stories with me via film. The homeless children and their parents in "My Own Four Walls," and our new documentary, "on the edge," offer powerful insights into homelessness.

Seems to me that being semi-homeless is the best way for me to represent this disenfranchised population. It sure has made me think about not counting. I'm glad the Census Bureau doesn't jail scofflaws.

Sorting Wants and Needs

I can still recall the Friday I picked up Tillie, my RV, and maneuvered it back from Bartlett to Naperville. Aside from being freaked out by my 20-year mortgage commitment and the 27' body extended behind my driver's seat, I had to figure out what I needed to take with me, where to put what I thought I needed, and I needed to do it fast because I was scheduled to shove off the following Monday.

The picture of me with bins and boxes stacked in this cramped space was plain ugly. I'm setting out on a journey to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what and I'm sitting in a friend's apartment complex parking lot sorting and storing shit. I had no clue what I needed. 

Fast forward, 87,000 miles and 4 years and 4 months later. I'm parked for the night in a southern Louisiana WalMart parking lot, knowing storms are destined to dump rain soon. I look around at the inside of Tillie and I smile. Most of what I thought I needed--bins, file folders, office supplies, etc.--I didn't need. I still could pare back considerably, but the folks here at WM wouldn't appreciate me having a yard sale.

One of the most surprising lessons I've learned (and I'm still in kindergarten) is how little I really need. I'm not austere--at least not by my thinking. I eat well, albeit a limited (by choice and practicalities) menu. I am comfortable, though I've become a cold weather wimp. And I work hard, though I've learned to set limits, like no computer in bed. 

What I've become aware of is the difference between need and want. And I question my want category much more vigorously. I'm not the one stimulating the economy by amassing goods. 

But I have what I need. And I'm painfully aware that many people don't begin to have what they need. And I need to check myself when getting angry about all those who have way more than I think they could need. 

I'm grateful for incredible support that empowered me to pull out of the parking lot and point Tillie's nose out of Illinois. I've met some amazing people--homeless families, people who work with homeless children and youth, and those who truly care about what happens to people in poverty. I've seen some amazing sights, backroad fan that I am. And the dream of creating a documentary to give homeless kids voice and visibility has been realized, and then some! If you haven't seen the HEAR US website, I invite you to do so. 

Seems to me that the leap of faith back in '05 was a good one for me.  And I believe that our nation is at that "leap of faith" point now, staring at the biggest challenge our country has ever faced--how to overcome hatred that spews from every possible source, further impairing our democracy that was far down the road to dysfunction. My fantasy--to have a committee to sort national needs and wants. It'll be an ugly process, but now's the time.

Unsung S-heroes

If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream. -Martin Luther King Jr.

S-heroes, heroines. Can't we come up with a better name for amazing, courageous women? But I digress. On this day of honoring Martin Luther King Jr., I'd like to pause and honor special s-heroes, specifically the 7 women whose stories are featured in our new documentary, "It's All About the Children."

We've struggled to find a name for this film, an hour-long look at homelessness from  women's perspective. It's All About the Children comes from words spoken by Darlene Newsom, CEO of the impressive Phoenix program, UMOM, that houses and assists homeless families and women. It is all about the children. That's why we do anything worthwhile in this world--so children can have it better. That's what led me to my s-heroes.

My current cross-country journey now has several purposes, but my deepest pleasure comes from sitting down with each woman in our film and letting them see it privately. Julianna (left) in Tempe was the first. Her gripping account, augmented by footage from home movies, shares a saga known by many women, told by few, domestic abuse that traps and debilitates, inevitably destroying the mom and her kids in the process, unless they escape.

Watching her modest, hand-me-down TV with her as these stories unfolded was humbling. While the other six stories touched her, leaving her in admiration of her "cine-sisters," I, knowing the painful details of her story, remain so grateful that she, and the rest of our ensemble, had the courage to share their unique but similar personal accounts of how their lives fell apart and their struggles to regain forward movement. Each woman has deep insight into the underlying causes and effects of their tribulations, as well as hopes and dreams for the future.


Homelessness is, was and will always be misunderstood and misconstrued by unenlightened ones. Blaming the victim, Pat Robertson's specialty, is pointless. The bootstraps theory--insensitive, maybe well-intentioned--oozes from people who don't know the rest of the story. The one antidote to misunderstanding is learning from experts. It's All About the Children provides that opportunity.

My s-heroes are these women, and so many more like them, who struggle to survive, to help their children not only survive but thrive. They fight the injustices that MLK railed against in his campaign for justice, injustices that seem to multiply with each passing day.

Our best hope is to direct today's efforts to the future, ensuring this world will be ready for the children. Julianna, the women of "Children," and countless s-heroes are doing just that. I'm just the humbled, honored instrument. Their stories fuel my quest for justice and equality, especially for the children. We cannot rest until that happens. 

Julianna's photo provided by her

The Wrecking Ball of Life

Now is as good of time as any to transform "Camper's RVue" to its new bent--a more personal/societal reflection. Today contains a dark cloud that needs to be shared.

Having worked for 25 years in human services, with perhaps the most in need of help populations, homeless adults and children, I'm no stranger to suffering, mostly of others, though I've had my share of "stuff." Today, a Friday, the day most emergency service workers will tell you is a magnet for disasters, especially right before closing, shift-change, etc., proved true to its reputation.

A woman I've been trying to contact for a few weeks called me back finally, and I settled into what passes for an easy chair in Tillie, ready to catch up. But her first sentences crashed down like a huge wrecking ball, not on my life, but on my image of what I thought her life was. Trust me, without hearing the gory details that I can't share, she has far exceeded the standard of "if anything could go wrong it did." And she doesn't deserve it, nor does her ever-so-fragile family that's swirling around in crises now.

I could only share this with the one person we have in common, and I was grateful for at least that gift of a knowledgeable, compassionate listen. But when I hung up, the cloud returned.

This Crises, deserving of more than just a capital "C," is not unlike what happens to other families. And this family has endured and survived a lot, though what they're going through now probably equals the sum of their history, a heavy dose concentrated in 3 months. It's more than I'd ever imagine being able to endure or survive, much less come out on top.

But that's what troubles me--this family HAS TO come out on top or they lose everything they've worked so hard to accomplish. And I'm not talking about a nice house, lots of cars, jewelry. I'm talking about the basics of life--a home they call their own, albeit a single-wide somewhat ramshackle trailer, a reliable car with lots owed on it, school loans and a few outstanding bills for stuff they really needed.

What most people don't realize is that the theoretical safety net--the one we imagine would be there if we had lots of bad stuff happen--it's not there. Sorry. It's gone, leaving in its wake the trail of bodies on the streets, in homeless and/or dire straits. And perhaps that's the worst part of this for me....

It's like watching someone drowning, with sharks patiently waiting nearby, with the entire family falling overboard.

I believe in a higher power, though I haven't settled on the design that makes most sense to me. Right now, I'd look for a knight on shining armor, charging in on a powerful white steed, to undo all the tragedies that swirl around this sweet family. But I guess I don't get to pick my form of divine intervention, and I suspect I have no control of the outcome.

My fervent hope--that the incredible mettle that has kept this family moving forward will be tested and found true. In my wildest imagination, I don't know how they'll do that. But that's where the unknown indomitable goodness comes in, the Grace that somehow keeps at least most of creation on the right track.

And I need to sort out my role in this. Why am I in the path of this wrecking ball, being splattered by debris? I certainly can't change the wrecking ball's trajectory, but perhaps I can extend a hand, maybe even gently guide my friends in a less perilous path. Or at least let them know I care. And I do.

Appreciating Water, Electricity and Flat Spots

It's that time again, where I'm rolling across country on an insanely ambitious endeavor, the HEAR US Learning Curve Express.

And as I roll, I'm remembering that my summer's security--access to water, electricity, and dumps--is behind me. Before me are question marks. Where I'm going? Who will volunteer to participate? What support I'll receive? and What surprises I'll encounter?

Already I'm doing without--I'm low on water. I have no place to plug in, therefore no heat unless I run the generator to power the heater. And dumping will be an issue in a couple days.

But what I'm doing pales in comparison to the struggles of invisible homeless families and teens. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing--to give them voice and visibility.

Don't think I'm not just a tad irate after watching Michael Moore's latest film, Capitalism A Love Story. Fat cats ravage global economies, destroy businesses, ruin families, and gloat. Frankly, after watching this greed-busting movie, I found myself even more motivated to shine a light on homeless families.

Afflict the comfortable, comfort the afflicted.

Me and Tillie. We're going to do our best. Follow along. It could get interesting!

photos by the author

Ready to Go! Learning Curve Express

What, am I crazy? Perhaps.

In 2005, when first I set out in this bulky, spartan RV on a naive mission to capture faces and voices of kids who knew homelessness from experience, I had no idea what was down the road, literally or figuratively. What resulted was an amazingly inspiring documentary, My Own Four Walls, that lets kids unload on the realities of homelessness, including their hopes and dreams.

I would have never predicted I'd be still living in this tin can, preparing to head out on a 5th cross-country tour, still seeking to give voice and visibility to homeless kids. But I am....

Crazy? Well, my friends would be able to shed light on this topic. But, with homelessness among families and teens surging, I feel a sense of, if not insanity, a befuddlement and frustration that comes with seeing things get worse instead of better. Out of that feeling LEARNING CURVE EXPRESS was born.

LCE will take me to families and teens who desperately turn to an unpredictable rotation of friends, family and motels that may provide a nightly place to sleep. For some reason, Congress and HUD decided to exclude these folks from the homeless count, relying instead on an oft-criticized "Point In Time" street count that bamboozles Congress into thinking we don't have much of a homelessness problem, especially when it comes to families and teens.

HEAR US Inc., my nonprofit organization, is committed to giving voice and visibility to homeless children and youth. We're honing in on the issue of these uncounted children, teens and parents who really do count. I will film short interviews as they describe perils of not having a fixed, adequate and regular (part of the definition of homelessness) place of abode.

Using technology, skilled techie students in Northern Illinois University's film program, and chutzpah, I will contact the local office where our LCE participants live, ask them to watch the 3-minute video of their constituent, and invite them to get informed and involved in this issue.

Part of the success of this ambitious effort (2-min. video clip) will rely on how well my RV, dubbed "Tillie the Turtle," gets me from place to place. Most of the success will depend on getting voters in these congressional districts to weigh in with their legislator that HOMELESS KIDS COUNT! A campaign to do so is in the works.

At least I'm starting with a clean RV, with the year-old dirt blasted off by my friends at Mike's Auto and Truck Repair in DeKalb, IL. I know I'll gather more dirt, dents, and experiences along the way. I'd like to have virtual company, so travel with me and, if you have a few bucks to toss our way for this crazy trip, we'd be most happy for the support.

Getting Ready for the BIG ONE!

I've been a road-rat for the past 4 years. Having never RVed before, I have to say this lifestyle fits me in more ways than I would have imagined. I've logged over 75k miles, hitting each of the lower 48 states. Traveling mostly backroads, I've seen a side of America few realize exists.

Solo-RVing, and finding great friends along the way who graciously accommodate my non-profit organization, HEAR US, and our mission to call attention to invisible homeless kids, has been more than satisfying and successful. With this experience under my belt, I'm about to venture on the most intense project of them all--the HEAR US Learning Curve Express.

You see, for way too many years, Congress has been bamboozled by HUD and its cronies about the scope of homelessness, particularly as it affects families and youth, especially those outside metro areas. It got so bad that the bamboozlers fought to limit the definition of "homeless" to exclude folks who bounce between friends' couches and motels after they lose their place to live due to hardship. Yeah, let's make it harder on people who have lost their homes. Geez!

The way I figure, I'll land in congressional districts and find some homeless families or teens willing to talk on camera, pop those interviews on our YouTube site(with help from NIU interns), and make contact with the Congressperson (or staff) to invite them to meet with the film subjects, possibly with some media presence. That should provide a congressional learning opportunity that could yield huge results.

It's a big country, but I'm willing to meet with and film as many invisible homeless families and teens as I need to in order to convince Congress that in every district people struggle with survival because they have no place to live. With that as my goal, I may be on the road a long time.

I know this is my RVer blog--but it's as impossible for me to separate my work from my lifestyle as it is for homeless families to become "un-homeless" because they're not staying at a shelter. My task now is to let them tell that story as often as it takes until Congress gets it. It could be a long trip....check our HEAR US website soon for some exciting announcements!

Negligent Blogger Confesses!

Where did this past month go?

I'm back in IL for the time being, safely ensconced at a friend's...perfect spot! Next week we plan a trip northward, to points unknown.

Hard to believe this will be my 4th summer living in Tillie. It seems normal, and nice, until the heat gets here. I'm still debating summer travel plans.

One of my likely trips will be to catch up with Zach, the amazing 11-year-old boy walking from "My House to the White House" to raise awareness about homeless children. Seeing as we're not having much luck getting Congress to pass a decent definition of homelessness, I'm not adverse to desperate measures.

My work trying to raise awareness of homeless children continues. I'm blogging my fool head off, including on the poverty blog at Change.org. I've been trying to keep up with Facebook
and have even begun to post new videos to YouTube.

No promises for exciting posts here for a while, but who knows??!! Happy Spring-Summer!