Sorting Wants and Needs

I can still recall the Friday I picked up Tillie, my RV, and maneuvered it back from Bartlett to Naperville. Aside from being freaked out by my 20-year mortgage commitment and the 27' body extended behind my driver's seat, I had to figure out what I needed to take with me, where to put what I thought I needed, and I needed to do it fast because I was scheduled to shove off the following Monday.

The picture of me with bins and boxes stacked in this cramped space was plain ugly. I'm setting out on a journey to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what and I'm sitting in a friend's apartment complex parking lot sorting and storing shit. I had no clue what I needed. 

Fast forward, 87,000 miles and 4 years and 4 months later. I'm parked for the night in a southern Louisiana WalMart parking lot, knowing storms are destined to dump rain soon. I look around at the inside of Tillie and I smile. Most of what I thought I needed--bins, file folders, office supplies, etc.--I didn't need. I still could pare back considerably, but the folks here at WM wouldn't appreciate me having a yard sale.

One of the most surprising lessons I've learned (and I'm still in kindergarten) is how little I really need. I'm not austere--at least not by my thinking. I eat well, albeit a limited (by choice and practicalities) menu. I am comfortable, though I've become a cold weather wimp. And I work hard, though I've learned to set limits, like no computer in bed. 

What I've become aware of is the difference between need and want. And I question my want category much more vigorously. I'm not the one stimulating the economy by amassing goods. 

But I have what I need. And I'm painfully aware that many people don't begin to have what they need. And I need to check myself when getting angry about all those who have way more than I think they could need. 

I'm grateful for incredible support that empowered me to pull out of the parking lot and point Tillie's nose out of Illinois. I've met some amazing people--homeless families, people who work with homeless children and youth, and those who truly care about what happens to people in poverty. I've seen some amazing sights, backroad fan that I am. And the dream of creating a documentary to give homeless kids voice and visibility has been realized, and then some! If you haven't seen the HEAR US website, I invite you to do so. 

Seems to me that the leap of faith back in '05 was a good one for me.  And I believe that our nation is at that "leap of faith" point now, staring at the biggest challenge our country has ever faced--how to overcome hatred that spews from every possible source, further impairing our democracy that was far down the road to dysfunction. My fantasy--to have a committee to sort national needs and wants. It'll be an ugly process, but now's the time.

My Journey--Getting Interesting...

Today's an anniversary of mixed emotions...the day that 7 years ago ripped me from the job--and mission--I thought I'd have for life, director of the shelter at Hesed House.

As the Universe is prone to do, my unexpected anniversary reminders came today gift-wrapped--unrelated pleasant messages from some folks I knew from my shelter days.

Thankfully I don't remember the anguish of the days surrounding the break. And, even more thankfully, my life has had lots of rich moments since then.

I peeked ahead at tomorrow's reading from Mark Nepo's Book of Awakening, my "bible" of sorts, and found the quote that I inserted on this photo I took on my journey. 

I guess I'm a pilgrim. I'm constantly being transformed. I'm learning how each moment of NOW, each encounter, each surprise and opportunity is a gift. I'm amazed at the gifts and opportunities that come my way.

This isn't a journey that I planned. That's what makes it so wonderful...when I take that moment to be awake to my world. 

I've met incredible people. I've seen breath-taking scenery. I've learned to be quiet, to listen to my inner voice and to what is being said to and around me.

And I'm still journeying. I don't know for certain where I'll end up, but I'm getting better trusting that I am where I should be. This anonymous quote hangs over my bed, an essential reminder when I lose my way, as I still do...

It is simple...I am where I should be, doing what I should be doing, otherwise I'd be somewhere else doing something else.

Unsung S-heroes

If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream. -Martin Luther King Jr.

S-heroes, heroines. Can't we come up with a better name for amazing, courageous women? But I digress. On this day of honoring Martin Luther King Jr., I'd like to pause and honor special s-heroes, specifically the 7 women whose stories are featured in our new documentary, "It's All About the Children."

We've struggled to find a name for this film, an hour-long look at homelessness from  women's perspective. It's All About the Children comes from words spoken by Darlene Newsom, CEO of the impressive Phoenix program, UMOM, that houses and assists homeless families and women. It is all about the children. That's why we do anything worthwhile in this world--so children can have it better. That's what led me to my s-heroes.

My current cross-country journey now has several purposes, but my deepest pleasure comes from sitting down with each woman in our film and letting them see it privately. Julianna (left) in Tempe was the first. Her gripping account, augmented by footage from home movies, shares a saga known by many women, told by few, domestic abuse that traps and debilitates, inevitably destroying the mom and her kids in the process, unless they escape.

Watching her modest, hand-me-down TV with her as these stories unfolded was humbling. While the other six stories touched her, leaving her in admiration of her "cine-sisters," I, knowing the painful details of her story, remain so grateful that she, and the rest of our ensemble, had the courage to share their unique but similar personal accounts of how their lives fell apart and their struggles to regain forward movement. Each woman has deep insight into the underlying causes and effects of their tribulations, as well as hopes and dreams for the future.


Homelessness is, was and will always be misunderstood and misconstrued by unenlightened ones. Blaming the victim, Pat Robertson's specialty, is pointless. The bootstraps theory--insensitive, maybe well-intentioned--oozes from people who don't know the rest of the story. The one antidote to misunderstanding is learning from experts. It's All About the Children provides that opportunity.

My s-heroes are these women, and so many more like them, who struggle to survive, to help their children not only survive but thrive. They fight the injustices that MLK railed against in his campaign for justice, injustices that seem to multiply with each passing day.

Our best hope is to direct today's efforts to the future, ensuring this world will be ready for the children. Julianna, the women of "Children," and countless s-heroes are doing just that. I'm just the humbled, honored instrument. Their stories fuel my quest for justice and equality, especially for the children. We cannot rest until that happens. 

Julianna's photo provided by her

The Wrecking Ball of Life

Now is as good of time as any to transform "Camper's RVue" to its new bent--a more personal/societal reflection. Today contains a dark cloud that needs to be shared.

Having worked for 25 years in human services, with perhaps the most in need of help populations, homeless adults and children, I'm no stranger to suffering, mostly of others, though I've had my share of "stuff." Today, a Friday, the day most emergency service workers will tell you is a magnet for disasters, especially right before closing, shift-change, etc., proved true to its reputation.

A woman I've been trying to contact for a few weeks called me back finally, and I settled into what passes for an easy chair in Tillie, ready to catch up. But her first sentences crashed down like a huge wrecking ball, not on my life, but on my image of what I thought her life was. Trust me, without hearing the gory details that I can't share, she has far exceeded the standard of "if anything could go wrong it did." And she doesn't deserve it, nor does her ever-so-fragile family that's swirling around in crises now.

I could only share this with the one person we have in common, and I was grateful for at least that gift of a knowledgeable, compassionate listen. But when I hung up, the cloud returned.

This Crises, deserving of more than just a capital "C," is not unlike what happens to other families. And this family has endured and survived a lot, though what they're going through now probably equals the sum of their history, a heavy dose concentrated in 3 months. It's more than I'd ever imagine being able to endure or survive, much less come out on top.

But that's what troubles me--this family HAS TO come out on top or they lose everything they've worked so hard to accomplish. And I'm not talking about a nice house, lots of cars, jewelry. I'm talking about the basics of life--a home they call their own, albeit a single-wide somewhat ramshackle trailer, a reliable car with lots owed on it, school loans and a few outstanding bills for stuff they really needed.

What most people don't realize is that the theoretical safety net--the one we imagine would be there if we had lots of bad stuff happen--it's not there. Sorry. It's gone, leaving in its wake the trail of bodies on the streets, in homeless and/or dire straits. And perhaps that's the worst part of this for me....

It's like watching someone drowning, with sharks patiently waiting nearby, with the entire family falling overboard.

I believe in a higher power, though I haven't settled on the design that makes most sense to me. Right now, I'd look for a knight on shining armor, charging in on a powerful white steed, to undo all the tragedies that swirl around this sweet family. But I guess I don't get to pick my form of divine intervention, and I suspect I have no control of the outcome.

My fervent hope--that the incredible mettle that has kept this family moving forward will be tested and found true. In my wildest imagination, I don't know how they'll do that. But that's where the unknown indomitable goodness comes in, the Grace that somehow keeps at least most of creation on the right track.

And I need to sort out my role in this. Why am I in the path of this wrecking ball, being splattered by debris? I certainly can't change the wrecking ball's trajectory, but perhaps I can extend a hand, maybe even gently guide my friends in a less perilous path. Or at least let them know I care. And I do.

A little late--but coming soon, a new blog!

Yeah, I know I've neglected this blog. Sorry. But I'm going to revise it, real soon if I have anything to say about it.

So check back, or better yet, sign up as a follower so you'll get notice of my new post. Or join me/HEAR US on Facebook.

Thanks for stopping by!
Diane

'Trailer Trash' Thoughts

A friend sent a trailer trash email with a collection of photos of this bazillion dollar RV. Kind of puts Tillie to shame. But, as Tillie and I continue our trek through this amazing country, I've accumulated some valuable observations--not valuable enough to earn the bucks needed to purchase and operate the above RV mansion, but some worth sharing with the blogsphere.

I had the um, occasion, to lose my generator tailpipe, the one that dangled below the genny, requiring me to replace it when I was going to need that shot of power while boondocking. Trying to replace it is like trying to find parts for a Model-T. Has the RV industry missed the computer revolution?

My RV dealer, that I'll try not to name, when I request a part, acts like the only way to figure out the part number is to look at the rig. Um, you even have my VIN number, so you should know exactly what model I'm driving.

Argh! The cord that operates one side of my window shade is ready to snap. And that looks like a relatively simple problem that will cost a bundle to fix. Any bright ideas will be appreciated.

Driving down a relatively empty Interstate the other day, I inadvertently veered over the rumble strip. No biggie. Then I caught a glimpse of what appeared to be a hubcap heading for the weeds in the median. Nah, couldn't be my hubcap, because the one on the driver's side rear is already missing. Mile marker 87. Rats. I didn't stop and I'm not going back. Any good ideas for cheap hubcap replacements?

My good friends Rich and Mary Jean are hosting me in their nice driveway while I'm in their fairly warm state during this holiday season. They, for the first time, put up lights on their house. Tillie effectively blocks the view. They haven't evicted me. True friends!

If anyone wants to get me something for Christmas, I'd love those high-hanging mirrors on that mega-rig above. When driving through metro traffic I feel like Dumbo with big ears. Let's see, what else do I want? That cute red car would be nice, and then I'd need a place to put it. Might as well get me the whole enchilada. How much could that cost???

Fluke Factor Fries Me!

Pre-California snow in Northern NM, 11-18-09

Some things I'd chalk up to my previous novice RVer status. But not after 80k+ miles, starting my 5th year of full-time RVing. I'll share a few of my fluky happenings, but I'd love to hear from others. (I acknowledge gross neglect of this blog. Plenty of excuses...please excuse me.)

FURNACE FLUKE--I try not to use the house furnace, but when Tillie is below 50 inside as I crawl out from under my toasty down comforter, I reach for the furnace switch. A quick warm-up, then I frugally revert to the little space heater. One day I flipped the switch and nothing happened. Hmmm...I checked all obvious systems, no clue.

I happened to be real short of expendable funds, and dollar signs started spinning around in my head like Nevada slots, where I happened to be at the time, parked in the yard of my friends Elaine and Bob. Crotchety ol' Bob is a trucker/handyman, so he offered to take a look. Of course, it worked fine. Never had a problem since.

BACK-UP CAMERA--usually when I'm at my most tired state, and it's dark, and I'm just wanting to get parked on the narrow lil' slab and hop in bed--the act of backing into my camping spot gets infinitely harder when the little camera doesn't work. It happens maybe once every 50 times, and never when I have the ability to park Tillie on a dime (??!).

ELECTRIC WINDOW THINGY--on the hottest day of this past summer I had a brief 1-hour drive to my destination. Hopping in, I decided that 100 was a good point to use my seldom-used AC. Turned the switch and nothing. Too hot to do anything but swear, I pushed the button for the passenger window, figuring a cross hot breeze would be better than nothing. Too bad. Window didn't open. More bad words, and lots of sweat.

Took Tillie to my trusted mechanic at Mike's Auto and Truck in DeKalb. He found the AC problem, but not the window. But when he tried it, viola! It worked, and has ever since.

GENERATOR--recently parked in a WalMart lot in CT and temps went down to the 20s. I sleep fine, and about 3 I pop up, push the genny switch, hit the furnace switch, and jump back in bed till inside temps get to be at least 45. This particular morning I did that routine and was fighting to get back to sleep as genny rumbled underneath my bed. The rumbling started faltering, like someone poured glue into the gas tank. Figuring the worst, I shut it off, knowing that the 36 degrees inside was as warm as it would get. Did use it a few days later and it was fine.

Again, to Mike's, and they checked it out, to no avail. And it's been fine since.

I could wrack my brain for more, but I'll pause and hope that others let me know I'm not just the only one with fluke factor-itis.

Fluke or not, I love RVing, especially now when I'm spending a little time in California. And I'll be on the road for several months on my HEAR US Learning Curve Express project. Follow along, and check out this cool piece that Fox Chicago did on my efforts to raise awareness about homeless children and youth.